My I go on!

A conversation with God

Small Christmases

Winnie the Pooh Bible

Cosmetic’s Bible

The Holy Bible scanned

Horses and that has nothing to do with me riding horses.

Elvis Presley’s Private Party

A Hard Day’s Night

Breathtaking

One Girl in the Crowd

I call myself Beth.

Embroidery and that has nothing to do with me embroidering.

My I go on with interests!

Interest, interest, interests and that has nothing to do

with me taking a genuine interest.

My I go on with that!

Avoid fuck when I don’t always avoid lies,

sins, dishonests, insinceres, nonsenses, non sequiturs.

Knitting and that has nothing to do with me knitting.

My I go on with my voice!

My truths, my insinceres, my loyalties, my directs, my straightforwards,

the Spanish lace gown, the Ukrainian lace gown, peace and war,

war and peace, the Irish lace gown.

My I go on with horses, but tell lies!

Batiking and that has nothing to do with me batiking.

Silk screening and that has nothing to do with me silk screening.

I go on with knit one, knit two and that’s boring.

I go on to all kinds of embroidery stitches and that has nothing to do

with being silent or quiet on embroidery, satin stitches, pretty eye stitches,

the silent stitch, the silent partner, silent justice, silent honour, correct sex,

experiencing sex with a man and a boy.

happy to keep silent for seconds

happy to keep silent for moments

happy to keep silent for hours

happy to keep silent for years

happy to keep silent for decades

happy to keep silent for centuries

My I go on to a voice, to truths, sinceres, loyals, directs and straight forwards.

And right now I am lost in a real world and an unreal world!!!

Right now I am thinking of Kay!!!

Thinking of Jill!!!

Julie building her castles.

I shed a tear for every schizophrenic victim, for every schizoid victim.

I am a happy victim with my silent voice box, silent voice box strings.

My Life as Beth was previously published in Hidden Lives: true stories from people who live with mental illness.