Laugh Track
Mirm Hurula
I admit to using humour
to cope
But the TV doesn’t know my struggles!
“DAMN, IT MADE ME NEAR SUICIDAL”
I have been struggling with suicidal ideation
since I was 12
When I realized
my body and mind weren’t enough
myself wasn’t enough
I deserved the verbal assault
from people I trusted most
I deserved it
From those I went to
I deserved it
I could tell them anything
I deserved it, I deserve it, I deserve it
Wait, what are you doing?!
I don’t understand!
Why is this happening?!
Why are you helping me?!
What this feeling in my chest?!
LET GO OF ME!
Where are you going?
Why are you leaving? I’m sorry…
What just happened? I’m sorry…
Wait! Please wait! I’m sorry…
I don’t want to be alone!
I hate being alone!
PLEASE!
I’ve been numb to that touch since
a touch to help me
some are warm, burning my skin
leaving permanent scars with memories.
others are cold, and they leave ice,
unbreakable ice,
but, it’s nice and cool
I build walls around it and protect it
No one stays too long…
it’s too dark… too scary…
I don’t blame them,
I wouldn’t stay either.
I’m just here to watch TV.
Creators
Mirm Hurula
Mirm Hurulais an emerging author and poet learning to write in genres they've been interested in since they were in elementary school. Mirm was named one of the top 10 collegiate poets in 2019 and 2020, by Bass/Schuler Entertainment. They received a fellowship for Martha's Vineyard's Institute for Creative Writing's Conference in Summer 2021. They’ve had multiple publications with their university's undergraduate journal, The Catalyst. Mirm incorporates brown and queer stories into every piece to give representation they craved as a young reader. They hope that their stories can uplift and center voices that haven’t seen the mainstream.