Are You Talking To Me
Jaeger Cormack
Words
Are you questioning me? I’m not questioning you
Are you looking at me? I’m not looking at you
Are you talking to me? I’m not talking to you
Are you following me? I’m not following you
You’re playing with me. Are you really a tree?
Keep talking, I’ll pull back my hands, they’re floating away
In a few seconds if I’m not interrupted, I’ll be totally hands free
No-Hands-Man in the classroom jumping around “I can’t do anything”
“Well, I can do something!”
It's a story I wrote
Something occurring instead
Of what’s occurring now now now inside my head
A parallel, I guess
Better get undressed
And bow down to the _Tibetan Book Of The Dead_
Whoops, I busted a window
Turn the light switch off
Is that a pigeon? How’d he get in?
This is my apartment; fuck off
That’s my dish; it’s yesterday’s special fried fish
I left it on the stove. Do you think that it’s old?
Let’s taste it and see
Hey, get your beak out of it
What? Is that a paramedic?
I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m just singing a song
Smoking a bong
Can’t hear what you’re saying
I’m talking myself, just listen
It's not my fault you can’t see the pigeon
Those are my clothes on the floor
Are you serious? You came to get me dressed
And stop me from eating rotten fish?
Isn’t there a heart attack you can mend?
Or someone’s spleen you can mend?
I swear it’s only pretend
How’d you get in?
What! There’s blood on my arm?
And it’s all over my hand?
Well, that’s nothing. I’m a Christian
And my arm is a sacrificial lamb
I see you looking at the walls
Yeah, I wrote that with fluorescent pastels
I’m a poet with a secret pen
On a scale of one to ten, I’m a scale of one to ten
How do I spell “world”?
Why you questioning me? Go home and kiss your wife
And watch TV
You haven’t been here the last month
You don’t know what’s been going on
Are you questioning me? I’m not questioning you
Are you looking at me? I’m not looking at you
Are you talking to me? I’m not talking to you
Are you following me? I’m not following you
Are you frightened of me?
I wouldn’t harm no one
Oh yeah, except for my own arm
Alright, I’ve got on my pants
Can I ride in the front of the ambulance?
I don’t want to ride in the back
Excuse me, I got to piss
Why don’t I want to ride in the back?
Cause that’s where the straight jacket is
You’re not gonna shock me, are you?
ECT electric shock therapy?
What do you mean that’s absurd?
They haven’t left it behind
Talk to Richard; they shocked that monkey five times
He could hardly believe he was still alive
He thought they were performing homicide
I know it’s all about me, what did I do?
You were told to come get me
They ever do this to you?
Your brain is racing, you’re talking too fast, calm down
Till we can get you to see the psychiatrist?
I’m not talking too fast
You’re talking too slow
And the only thing racing is us to the hospital
What emergency is here?
You’re acting out of fear
I’m not insane
I’m just playing a game
Ask anyone who laughed
At all the strange things I did in tree planting camps
Are you questioning me? I’m not questioning you
Are you looking at me? I’m not looking at you
Are you talking to me? I’m not talking to you
Are you following me? I’m not following you
Are you talking to me? I’m not talking to you
I’m sad now. It’s all brown
There is no fun for me strapped down
Why can’t I be free?
My heart is beating with heat
Why can’t I be me?
Get out of the bathtub?
I didn’t even know I was in it
Take medication to reduce the sensation
I’m not on any drugs, but I’m high
And I don’t want to waste it
Are you questioning me? I’m not questioning you
Are you looking at me? I’m not looking at you
Are you talking to me? I’m not talking to you
Are you following me? I’m not following you
Creators
Jaeger Cormack
Jaeger Cormack is an artist/musician living in Vancouver. He has practiced his art since he was 21, and through 7 hospitalizations for schizoaffective disorder over the years. He is now 48. His music often does not deal with themes of illness, but the two songs published in Fig:ment Magazine do. Are You Talking To Me depicts the first time he had an episode of psychosis, and the subsequent hospitalization. Wrong With Me is a song about living in institutions and taking medication. The songs deal with the euphoria and the devastation of the illness.